Monthly Archive for January, 2012

the way things are

Since Jan 1, 2012, my patience have been put to the test. Over the last 26 days, there are times were I manage to keep my cool, but there are moments where staying cool is just beyond possible.

*sigh*

I would love to say that life’s a bitch. BUT, everything that has happened so far I believe is for a better tomorrow. Or maybe a better me for tomorrow. The load of crap that has been thrown right at my face thus far may not be the worst things yet. Having said that, I got really worn out today for some reason. Perhaps it is all the accumulated stress.

I just need to get some breathing space. Somewhere. Maybe tonight when I go  to bed.

All I can say is BRING IT ON, Life! I know whatever good and bad things that happened, happened for a reason. It is the experience that matters. And as last as long I stay true to myself, I’m good.

All good.

Good night.

p/s: Happy Birthday Mum. I love you. And no matter how grown up I am, I will always need a Mum. Always.

 

dying

When we rejoice over the birth of a new life, we sometimes forget that death is set to be waiting at the end of this life. Dying is a part of being alive.

A lot of us have not been acquainted with Death. In fact, we fear Death. Sometimes we are angry with Death. To be honest, none of us will ever know how it feels like to die, until it actually happen. I’ve heard stories that it is scary, that you will have no control over your body as your soul leaves, that you will still have to make choices even after you die. I mean, I don’t even know how it’s going to feel like if there’s no me, inside me!!

Do I fear death? Hell yea I do. I mean, I wouldn’t want to die now.

Nonetheless, I have been constantly reminding myself that Death is part of Life. I will never know when Death decides to walk up my door, knock on it and say ‘Hey Chiao Ju, it’s time to go’. I’m sure I’ll cry. I’m sure I’ll be sad. I’m sure I’ll grieve for my death. I would definitely need time to do all those things. After I’m done grieving, I’m sure I’ll live my numbered days to its fullest.

Everything happens for a reason. However, I’m learning to accept the fact that sometimes, we will never ever know the reason. I use to ask a lot of why questions about life. I think sometimes I still do. But I’m learning to accept the fact that life is as such. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bowing down to “this is my crappy life, live with it” concept. No. I believe that certain decisions I make can change the course of my life.  Having said that, I’m not going to dwell over searching for the answer to my why question. Sometimes, it’s not all that worth it.

The course I have to undertake today, has everything to do with my past. Past lives I mean. Karma is at play. What goes around, comes back around. Writing all this doesn’t make me a pessimist. It is me learning to accept what life is. How you live your life is all up to you. Yes, karma will interfere once in a while, but again, karma has nothing to do with anyone else but us. We plant those karma seeds. We can’t blame anyone for it.

Oh well. May we have a good week before the Chinese New Year break.

twozeroonetwo

I can’t believe 2012 is here. 2011 breezes through like the wind. Scary to be honest. Nonetheless, 2011 has been good. I’ve learned about people around me but more importantly, I’ve learned a lot about ME. So like I say it’s all good.

Although 2012 just started, I know that 2012 is awesome, coz it is up to me to make awesome.

Happy New Year 2012! :D



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